Psychiatry and psychology Articles

9 ways to tell if a man is in love

2013-09-13

There is no guaranteed way to know if a man truly loves you, but there are many more ways to read the signs to help you figure out what's on your special someone's mind. If you want to know how your partner feels, pay attention to how he acts, what he says, and how he behaves when you spend time together.

Despite the fact that for each of us the concept of “love” means something different, deeply personal, many things in this intimate matter remain universal. This is what allows you to judge what you are dealing with: a real strong feeling, slight affection, short-term sympathy, or even a banal desire to spend time in pleasant company. So, your only and most faithful assistant in the difficult task of searching for the slightest signs of male love is attentiveness and observation. Do not lose sight of even the most insignificant details, and this will certainly help reveal the truth.

1 sign of love: A man talks about your future together

If a person truly loves you, then the idea that you will be together in the future is an unconditional given. And there can be no uncertainty here. If a man makes plans, fantasizes about what your apartment will look like in 1, 2 or even 10 years, then he is probably in love. Love captures us completely, and we can no longer imagine ourselves in union with anyone other than our chosen one. Of course, if your shared dreams have led you to talk about your children’s appearance, wedding guest list, and honeymoon location, then you probably don’t need our advice anymore.

2nd sign of falling in love: A man switches from your external attractiveness to spiritual qualities

Agree, there is a difference between two compliments: “I like your new hairstyle” and “You make me feel happy no matter what.” If a person lets you know that they appreciate your warmth, character, and personality, then there is a good chance that they really love you.

3 signs of falling in love: A man truly opens up to you

If the chosen one really loves you, then he will be able to openly say everything that he thinks, feels, fears and yearns for. A sure sign of interest is frank stories about childhood, even about those moments that cause the greatest regret or are painful. A lover is not shy about romantic dreams about the future, as he enjoys talking to you about what is important to him. If a person confesses to you: “I have never told anyone about this before...”, then this is one of the best proofs of the presence of love and trust. If a man is not indifferent to you, then during a date he will be able to be himself (sometimes stupid or funny, sometimes ridiculous), while remaining restrained, serious and well-mannered in public places. The secret is that a lover, of course, wants to be ideal for his other half, but he will be comfortable with her even when he trips or stains his shirt at dinner.

4 signs of falling in love: A man misses you

If for some reason you cannot be near your chosen one, he gets bored and openly demonstrates this: he writes letters and notes, often calls, talks about how he cannot imagine his life without you. Of course, there should be moderation in everything, however, if you go on vacation for 3 weeks and during all this time you do not hear a word from your “Prince Charming”, then he probably has no chance of becoming king, since There seems to be no love in such a situation.

5 signs of falling in love: A man does not notice your mistakes

A person who is truly in love is not at all inclined to idealize the object of his adoration. This passion is blind, but true feeling gives strength to put up with the shortcomings of your companion. When there is love in the soul, a person feels comfortable, even if you make a mistake, act illogically or stupidly. A lover will not reproach you for an extra bun in a cafe or criticize your choice of dress with foam at the mouth. A healthy dose of criticism can come from him, but only in the form of good advice from a man who knows and accepts you. In other words, love is exactly what makes one person be there for another, no matter what. It works wonders in making your partner accept both your positive and negative qualities and walk side by side through good times and bad.

6 signs of falling in love: A man listens carefully

Misunderstandings often arise between the stronger and weaker sex; it can be difficult for women to figure out whether their partner is indifferent to them or is simply hiding his feelings so carefully. If a man truly loves, it’s hard not to notice - how he behaves is described in detail by psychology. And even though all people are different, there is still something in common.

How do men perceive love?

To understand what kind of behavior a man has when he loves a woman, it is necessary to determine how the stronger sex perceives this “love” and what this word means to them.

As soon as a woman comes into a man’s field of vision, she has eclipsed his gaze and won his heart, he changes and is transformed before his eyes. First of all, he begins to show interest, courtship and try to attract women's attention to himself.

A man in love is ready to sacrifice his interests and time in order to be near the object of his adoration as often as possible, in order to at least keep competitors away from her.

Quarrels often arise between women and men because we accuse them of callousness, lack of romance, lack of attention and tender words. We forget that the stronger sex is used to expressing their feelings through actions, not words. When a man loves a woman, all his actions will be concentrated on the object of his desire.

Important! He shows he cares by buying her something tasty (like her favorite candy) even if she says she's on a diet. Think about what a man does for you, not what he says.

A man in love will never offend his woman and will accept all her shortcomings. He is ready to brag about her to the whole world - “look, she’s mine!” Male love manifests itself through the desire to protect and care, to protect from troubles and adversity, placing all the burdens and problems of the beloved on his own shoulders.

10 signs of falling in love

Several main signs that Cupid's arrow has struck the heart of your chosen one will describe how his behavior is changing.

1. He is ready to look into your eyes for a long time, does not lower them or look away, his pupils are slightly dilated when he looks at you.
2. He is interested in your life, hobbies, interests and tastes, his questions are sincere and he listens carefully to what you tell about yourself.
3. He tries to be around as often as possible, tries to leave work early, does not forget to call and write, and is interested in your affairs during the day.
4. He strives to touch you: he will tuck your hair behind your ear, he will touch your arm, he will straighten an already perfectly fitting coat, he will remove lint from his clothes.
5. If a third person interrupts your conversation, he does not turn his attention to him, even if it is his own acquaintance. He answers questions with hesitation and reluctantly, making it clear that he wants to be alone with you and that this person is unnecessary.
6. When he addresses you, the tone and timbre of his voice changes, it becomes softer and more vibrant, trusting, warm.
7. He willingly helps you in any matter, perceives your requests as a reason to show concern. He happily hangs shelves, gives rides home, helps rearrange furniture, whatever.
8. When you two are together, he does not follow other women with his eyes, does not pay any attention to them - he simply does not notice them.
9. He strives to do pleasant things - gives gifts, flowers, arranges small surprises.
10. He compliments you, admires you, and all his words don’t sound like quotes from romantic films - he is sincere and open with you.

In the video below you can see other signs of male love.

Nonverbal cues

Psychologists identify some signs in the behavior of a loving man; they can be noticed if you look closely at the chosen one and what his body language says.

1. Sight
   If a man truly loves, he will look at this woman in a special way. His gaze will glow, as described in romance novels. He looks intently and unflinchingly, even if there are other girls around - his eyes will fixate on the one and only one.

   Important! Women's intuition will never miss such a bright sign; we tend to catch such manifestations of interest even before the man himself realizes his sympathy.

2. Gait
   The gait of a man in love is light, he seems to have a spring in his step, and often hums something or whistles. This behavior is not typical for most representatives of the stronger sex in everyday life. But love, which inspires them and gives them a feeling of euphoria, is quite capable of causing such changes.
3. Attitude to the world
   The man begins to behave actively, he is full of energy, he is cheerful and cheerful. All the problems and worries that weighed on him just a few days ago begin to seem like trifles - this is the very state about which they say “ready to move mountains.”

   Interesting to know! He is prone to unexpected decisions, risky and adventurous actions. Love pushes him to exploits and rash actions.

4. Gestures
   When near the object of affection, the toes of a man’s shoes are always turned towards her. He also hides his hands in his pants pockets, leaving only his thumbs visible - psychologists believe that such a gesture shows that he is determined. And when you tell him something, he turns his whole body towards you, does not look away and listens carefully, and not in one ear.
5. Posture
   When he sees that same woman, he straightens his shoulders, straightens his back, tries to appear taller and wider than he really is. The pose in which a man holds his hands on his hips, his feet shoulder-width apart, and his chin raised speaks of his subconscious desire to demonstrate his physical characteristics.

Signs of sympathy can manifest themselves in different ways; some men will not flaunt their physical characteristics due to hidden complexes, but other signals will be sent tirelessly.

Also, hugs can tell about a young man’s love. You can learn more about this in the video below.

Reasons to hide feelings

Subconsciously expressing non-verbal signs of sympathy, a man does not show any attempts to show these feelings openly - this is a common situation, and this behavior has its reasons.

1. That's how it is
   Over many centuries, the male sex has developed a stereotype that they should not show emotions - this is the lot of the weak, as it seems to them. In addition, recent trends have developed in them the belief that women gravitate toward brutal and rude men, so they try to “conform.”
2. Fear of the "heel"
   The stronger sex is convinced that as soon as a woman finds out about the true depth of his feelings, the “trap” will immediately slam shut - he will be in her power, she will manipulate and twist him as she pleases.

   Sometimes fear of the weaker sex develops into a global catastrophe. In the article “” you can find out the reasons for this fear.

3. Public opinion
   For many guys, the fear of looking vulnerable and weak in the eyes of friends is stronger than the desire to show feelings for their chosen one. Some men think that they will be laughed at, teased and mocked if they find out that he has fallen in love.
4. Maintaining your image
   Another misconception is guys' fear of being uninteresting. They think that if they make it clear to their lady that they are head over heels in love, she will immediately lose all interest in them. And therefore they try to hide their true emotions in order to maintain the image of a free and mysterious lover, keeping their other half, so to speak, “in good shape.”
5. Protection
   Many representatives of the stronger half of humanity are afraid of rejection. It seems to them that they are not worthy of such a beautiful woman and if they show their interest, she will only laugh at them. In fact, men are no less vulnerable creatures than women, and they are also afraid of pain, which is why they hide their romantic impulses.

How to distinguish love from sympathy?

Passionate and ardent love, which will “dissipate” after a few weeks of close communication or immediately after the man receives what he sought, is significantly different from a deeper and more “reliable” feeling.

Psychologists identify several main signs by which you can determine whether a man truly loves you or is it just passion.

1. Compliments
   In a state of love, a man will only pay attention to your physical characteristics - all his compliments revolve around your appearance. And the one who loves will appreciate your spiritual qualities, character traits, manner of laughing - what makes you special.
2. Happiness
   Sympathy can manifest itself in a feeling of inspiration, when a man is next to you, he is happy and cannot think about anything else. But love will make him care that you are happy - he will think about what you will like more, not him.
3. Respect
   A man in love will shower his lady with compliments, talk about how wonderful, smart, and beautiful she is, but when it comes to a serious issue, he is unlikely to be interested in her opinion. If a man loves, the opinion of his other half is as important to him as his own.
4. Advantages and disadvantages
   A man blinded by passion will not be able to notice his partner’s shortcomings; he is inclined to idealize her and extol her to the skies. Only when a person truly falls in love will he notice some shortcomings in the character and behavior of his other half. At the same time, he will accept them and not try to change them.
5. Parents and friends
   When people are in love, they do not care at all about the opinions of their loved ones; they do not even remember their existence as long as they are close to the object of their passion. Love, as a deeper and more “far-sighted” feeling, will force them not only to introduce their soul mate to their parents and friends, but also to try to make these people friends with each other.
6. Prospects
   Strong sympathy and passion are blinding; a person simply cannot imagine life without a soulmate. But at the same time, lovers discuss their future only as a joke, or avoid this topic altogether, because hormones are seething, and now there is no time for serious questions. Love will make them dream, plan and make joint plans for the future.

Most psychologists advise staying as you are, because sooner or later you will relax, the masks will be removed and the man will see your true nature. And if she is very different from the image that you painted for him, then most likely he will be disappointed and leave.

The main ways to increase your love are simple principles.

1. Laughter
   The male half really appreciates funny and amusing women, but this does not mean that you should arrange a real KVN for him every day. However, the ability to make him laugh and cheer him up after a hard day at work will be a big advantage.
2. Surrender positions
   No one says that you need to do this every time, but if in a quarrel you at least occasionally take the first step towards a meeting, he will appreciate it.
3. Care
   Putting on an old robe and replacing the smell of perfume with the aroma of cutlets is not a good idea. But it’s not for nothing that they say that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. Show concern - cook him delicious dinners, find out what his favorite dish is and learn the recipe. Notice that his phone case is worn out? Give him a new one! Just like that, for no reason. He will see that you pay attention to the little things and show concern - his heart is guaranteed to melt.
4. Appearance
   Men love with their eyes - a long-recognized fact. If your chosen one has cooled down, put yourself in order. Change your look, lose extra pounds, update your wardrobe. You relaxed and stopped wearing makeup on dates - he will notice this and if at first he perceives it as a sign of trust, then over time he will begin to yearn for his former beauty.
5. Forget about "saw"
   Guys run headlong away from women who nag them. Stop constantly reminding him how he forgot about some important date for you or exchanged an evening with you for get-togethers with friends. Reproaches and conflicts, even minor or comic ones, will be a reason for a man to think.
6. Femininity
   In our world, women have long ceased to be the weaker sex; we give birth to children, build a career and take care of the house at the same time. We perform many duties that were previously considered traditionally male. Forget about it at least for a while, give yourself a chance to be weak and defenseless, and give your chosen one a chance to protect and comfort you.

We women are designed this way: we constantly need proof of love from a man. And some women cannot live without them at all. We will not go into detail now about why this happens to women, because many already understand that everything depends not only on doubts, but also on the self-esteem of the woman herself. Better let's take a look:

How does a man who truly loves behave?

But even if it’s not a matter of self-esteem or doubts, but simply a girl’s youth and inexperience, it’s still worth knowing some signs that a man is in love. After all, when you are young, it is not always easy to understand whether a man loves you or is just playing at love.

1. Sees only the good in you
Perhaps this is the surest sign that a man is in love. However, this can also be attributed to a woman’s love. When a person loves, he sees only positive aspects in the object of his love; he does not notice everything negative.

2. A man will act like a man.
He will try his best to support you, support your family, and behave like a man even when there is no need for it. Falling in love implies the manifestation of the best masculine qualities, including the qualities of a protector and caring for children. For example, buying children's boots for your child is not a problem for him.

3. Other women are not interesting
If a man is truly in love with you, he simply does not notice other women. No one is saying that he will stop paying attention and greeting people, it’s just that you will always be the object of his love and you can’t help but notice it.

4. Excessiveness
Sometimes this excessiveness manifests itself in everything and may even seem intrusive. He may overprotect you, take care of you, etc. But there is nothing wrong with this, this is another proof that a man behaves like a man and does not play at love.

5. Listens to you
He will never ignore your opinion. Even if you have diametrically different views on the same issue, this does not mean that a man will not be ready to listen to what you think on any matter. Another thing is how he will act...

6. A man makes plans for a future together
To say to him: we will do it, we will leave, we will build, we will buy - it is completely logical. Because he connects the future with the woman he loves. If you hear constant talk about a future together, this is a sure sign that a man is in love with you.

8. A man feels sad without you
This does not mean at all that he will hang on the phone with you for hours and talk. It’s just that in your company he will be much more comfortable and better than without you. He will try to spend his free time with you as often as possible.

9. A man is capable of surprises
Despite the fact that it often seems to us women that a man has no imagination at all, in fact he is capable of showing great imagination and ingenuity, especially when he really loves a woman. Pleasant surprises, even small ones, will be really very pleasant for you. After all, he wants you to feel good with him.

10. A man is ready to introduce you to friends and relatives
If a man introduced you to his friends, then you can be sure of his feelings for you. He is not shy about showing how he feels about you to the world. And that is why he is ready to introduce you to his circle of friends to spend time together.

11. A man is interested in everything connected with you
Be sure that questions about your life before him are not just idle interest, but the active participation that he demonstrates. He wants to get to know you, find out everything about your life in order to get to know you even better.

12.How does a loving man behave? A man wants to please your friends
It is important for him that your surroundings fall in love with him. After all, your loved ones are you. Accordingly, the love of loved ones will bring him even closer to you. That is why it is important for him that they accept him as an integral part of you.

What feelings does your loved one have towards you: love or simple sympathy? Is he sincere in his manifestations or skillfully hides his real emotions?

Such questions most often arise among the fair sex, because women tend to look for confirmation of love in every action of their beloved man, think about the sincerity of his feelings and doubt everything that concerns a serious relationship.

Of course, there is nothing funny or funny in these torments, because it is important for every person to know that they are loved and not deceived behind their back. So, how to do this?

How to make sure the sincerity of your loved one’s feelings?

This is the main difficulty for women, because if you ask your partner about this directly, he may lie or not answer the question at all due to his character.

In fact, in order to find out the truth, you don’t need any knowledge of psychology, since there are several signs that a man really loves you, which you can independently identify and notice.

Observation and patience are the only things you need to get the answer to one of the most important questions in life.

“A man’s actions are the best interpreters of his thoughts” J. Locke

The love of a man and a woman can manifest itself in different ways, but nothing will testify to it more than the actions of a person. Therefore, if you want to make sure of the sincerity of your partner’s feelings, the first thing you should pay attention to is his actions and attitude towards you.

At the same time, do not forget that women and men perceive the world individually, based on their own and long-established beliefs in society.

Therefore, try to evaluate the actions of your beloved man from his position, and not how you would act in this situation if you were in his place. Perhaps your man does not take the decisive actions that you lack in a relationship, considering them a manifestation of his weakness.

Imagine the situation, you call your loved one during working hours

He picks up the phone and answers you, and you feel the coldness on his part. A woman’s first thoughts in this situation will be: “Why is he so rude and reluctant to talk to me?”, “He’s probably tired of me, and he’s lost interest in me...”.

Women's logic is simple and understandable, and the conclusions suggest themselves, but think about it, what if your man behaves this way only because he is at work and does not want his colleagues to overhear your conversation.

Remember, earlier he probably mentioned how his colleagues make fun of him, accidentally overhearing your sweet conversations with him. Now think about whether it’s worth getting upset and worried about such little things, while there are several universal signs that a man really loves you.

If a man really loves you, then...

1. He will make future plans for life together with you.

Thoughts about a future together are the clearest sign that your loved one is serious about you and intends to spend the rest of their life with you.

Therefore, if a man shares with you his dreams about the future, imagines what it will be like when you have children, be sure that this man really loves you.

If there is no talk about a common future, then perhaps you won’t have one or the right moment for such a conversation has not yet arrived.

Advice. Don’t be afraid to initiate a conversation about the future; perhaps your partner also dreams of living side by side with you for the rest of his life, but doesn’t know how to tell you about it.

2. He will introduce you to everyone as his beloved woman.

Another proof of a man’s love is that he recognizes you as his soulmate. If your partner really loves you, then of course he will position your relationship as serious and will introduce you as his beloved woman to all his friends.

If your loved one behaves differently when alone with you and among friends, as if changing masks, then most likely he has not yet decided on his feelings and intentions.

Advice. Of course, it’s unpleasant to say the word “I love” and not hear it in response, to see how your loved one moves away from you when friends or acquaintances meet.

Seeing this behavior of a man, do not be upset; most likely, he needs a little more time to realize what is happening between you.

Talk to him, if he is indifferent to you or is satisfied with everything in such a “relationship” - let him go. Such a person is unlikely to make you happy.

3. He will introduce you to his family.

Meeting your parents is a very important step, which a man decides to take only if he is sure that there are mutual and serious feelings between you. Therefore, take your lover’s offer to meet his family as another proof of love.

If your relationship has been going on for a long time, but your partner is in no hurry to introduce you to his close relatives and does not even tell them about you, then there is unlikely to be anything sincere and real between you.

Advice. Your partner must have a good reason for not introducing you to his parents. Maybe he is already married, but is hiding his official relationship from you?

Perhaps the whole point is that you yourself are in no hurry to introduce yourself to your parents, and this fact worries him just as much as it worries you. Take the first step - introduce your loved one to your family.

If after this your man continues to behave as before, then leave him, because such hidden relationships will never bring you happiness and confidence in your partner.

When you are in love, the whole world plays with bright colors and your heart fills with happiness...

When you love, you experience more mixed feelings, because falling in love is a moment, but love is a whole life. This is probably why it is so important for us to see manifestations and evidence of the love of our soulmate every day.

If you doubt the sincerity of your man’s feelings and are afraid that love has long grown into a habit, talk to him about your fears.

Tell your loved one how much you love him and don't want to lose him, take your loved one's hand and look into his eyes. What you feel at this moment will help you understand what is happening without words and answer your question. Take care of love and do not be afraid of the truth!

Anastasia Vasilyeva specially
for the project “Psychology of Relationships”

During my trainings, seminars and master classes, the question is: “How to understand that a man is in love?” - one of the most relevant. Is there really a real way to test a man’s feelings and his readiness for a serious relationship? Can you understand from words and gestures that a man is in love? The answer is yes! But, dear women, I also want to emphasize once again that you are primarily responsible for the quality of these actions. No, men do not owe you anything just based on the fact that that you are a woman. Work on your words, actions and expressions. You can immediately track the result of this in a man’s actions. The girls who have completed our training already know more about male psychology (exercise No. 27 “Psychology: honor and dignity as a man”).
And back to the topic.

If most of the statements listed below coincide with what your man says and does, rest assured that he really has serious intentions...

So, let's begin:

11 statements of a man in love

1. Your happiness is my happiness

To love someone is to experience an emotional connection. When a man is really (and not just for show) “on the same wavelength” with you, it means he is interested in a long-term relationship. As one famous writer Robert Heinlein said: “Love is that state in which the happiness of another person is much more important than your own.”

1. I think you're perfect even though I know you're not

Of course, there are no perfect people... But when a man is truly in love with a woman, everything about her becomes beautiful for him. Not only appearance, but also behavior, gait, smile, quirks and habits. Of course, he knows that she has flaws, but he simply is not interested. He doesn't think about it, he just sees only the good.

1. I keep my promises

Whatever one may say, “I love you” are just words... If they are not supported by specific actions, then doubts immediately arise about their veracity. The “right” man understands that promises made to a woman must be kept. He will not prove to you with words - only with actions.

1. I respect you

A man cannot love a woman he does not respect. Love implies deep respect for feelings/thoughts/opinions. A loving man always consults a woman when making important decisions affecting both of them.

1. I believe you

Another facet of love is mutual trust. A man who loves a woman relies heavily on her and expects this to be reciprocated. I like one famous quote that applies to this point: “Love gives the power to destroy you, but you believe it will never happen.”

1. I always try to do something for you

"Love" is not a noun, it is a verb. Why? Because true love requires constant and active action, effort and consistency on the part of both partners. If this does not happen, feelings fade away as quickly as they flare up. A wise man (like a wise woman) understands that winning a woman is not enough, you need to constantly work to

1. I'm there no matter what happens

The best proof of a man's love is his desire to always be there. Not physically, but emotionally. That is, he is nearby not only when the sun is shining outside, but also holds an open umbrella over you on a rainy day.

1. I imagine our future together

It is very easy to understand that a man is in love by correspondence: from “you and I” he moves to “we”. When he begins to plan his future, you are sure to be present in these plans. He is not afraid of the prospect, he enjoys the relationship.

1. I can't imagine what my life would be like without you

A man who loves a woman always experiences joy from communicating and spending time with her. He realizes that the past bad experience no longer causes worries, there is only the present moment, where he is absolutely happy, and the rest does not matter.

1. I don't care what happened in your past

Every person understands that his chosen one has a past. A wise man in love is not interested in this past; a shared future with a woman is important to him.

1. I bring you into my circle

If your chosen one does not seek to introduce you into his social circle, this is a reason to think about the prospects of your relationship.

Conclusions:

Men are truly capable of love and, moreover, they want love no less than women.

Answer to the question “How can you tell if a man is in love with you?” simple:

Men are more likely to express their feelings through concrete actions. If this happens in your relationship, great! He loves you.

And remember, if a man is comfortable with a woman, he is interested in a long-term relationship with her.

We study aspects of relationships with a man in more detail in lesson No. 5 of the training.
The lesson is called: “Psychology: secrets of building relationships.”

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